LVO3

SeanMessenger's Blog

SeanMessenger is the Papa Bear and co-founder of LVO3. He's smart, sexy, and gets great gas mileage both highway and around town, and always has lots to say about lots of things. So buckle up. It's about to get rocking and rolling in here. And yes, that's one name. Just easier that way. Like Prince. Or Arod. Or Douchebag. :)

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10 Seconds to Love!

October 13, 2008

>>> Settle down, Beavis, I'm not gonna start singing the Motley Crue song of the same name (but now that song is stuck in your head, too! :) I just loved the title, cos today I got one of my favorite articles from back in the day where I break down just how easy it is to get any woman anywhere feeling attracted to you... all without tricks or acting like a speed-addled monkey. This article is the core of my classic podclass, "Sincere Direct Game," so read on and find out how you can get the full 97-minute podclass too. The words used for an opener are not as important as the intent, the energy, and the commitment you bring to it.

That said, I have one absolute fall-back every time 100% effective opener. This is something that anyone can use, anytime, any skill level, any environment. For instance, if you are any of the following:

* You are just starting out and dealing with the daunting task of approaching women for the first time (and wondering how in the hell anyone ever does anything this scary). This will get you started and get you positive responses immediately.
* You can do cold approaches but have trouble running a full story, or making an opinion opener sound right, or aren't able to jump right into fun banter right away. This gives you the open and lets her know right away you are more than just a guy making conversation. You are a guy flirting with her, and totally comfortable doing it.
* You can run attraction to the end of time but find that the girl never fully commits to you, but lets you entertain her until the guy she really connects with comes along. This establishes right from the start that you are confident, sexual, and have intent, and rewards her for being the woman who is deserving of that attention (for right now).
* You are a high-value guy and finding that you come on too strong for some girls and overgame them without even realizing it. This will get them smiling and comfortable and let them relax and appreciate your interest.
* You are super-advanced and want to see just how basic you can break it down. This can make the game ridiculously easy now that you have internalized all the lessons of value and fun and the potential for great intimacy and sexual fulfillment you have to offer.

Seriously. Any one. Any time. Any where. I challenge you to come up with a scenario where this will not open.

I think of this as three yards and a cloud of dust. It's not the flashy aerial attack, and you may never break free and take it straight to the house with this one, but you'll always gain positive yardage.

So what is the secret? Simple. Give her an honest compliment. But there are some nuances to be aware of. Here are the exact words I open with.

"I know this is a little random, but I had to tell you that you are really cute."

Now here is what I think makes this work. First, I walk up confident but not cocky. I'm smiling, but not joking.

I am not fucking around here, and I am not saying this to get attention. This isn't a joke or a put on and she's not on Punk'd. I'm doing this as a gift from me to her. I take the frame that she is lovely to look at (for whatever reason -- you needn't save this for the scorching hotties -- any woman who catches your eye for any reason is deserving of a compliment).

Ben/Orion said in a DYD interview that his frame in opening is to make a woman smile, and that always struck me as a wonderful general philosophy. Yes, you want to give her the opportunity for so much more than that, but if you know in your heart that you have the ability to make pretty girls smile at any time, that you really do believe that everything she does is cute, then why would you ever be afraid to talk to her? Would you not then know that you do have a power to use for good? Do you not understand how much people, and women in particular, need, crave, and pine for real appreciation?

When you approach a woman and tell her there is something special about her that you can't help but see, you create a world where only the two of you exist, a world she gets to visit far too rarely.

Here's something else to keep in mind. I've read other approaches similar to this which take the same idea, but leave it a little more open to interpretation. I think it is critical that the compliment itself be as subtle and as nourishing as possible. I've tested this with telling a woman that she is gorgeous, or lovely, or stunning, but I've never found anything that gets as consistenly positive and comfortable responses as cute. I think there's some deep psychology and subtle social cue stuff at work here.

If you tell a woman you do not know how beautiful she is, she takes that compliment as an offering to her altar. She may appreciate it, but all it says about you is that you are a man who notices beautiful women. And for some women, those who are not totally comfortable with their own beauty (especially those who's self image does not map to their appearance), this compliment actually confuses them, and makes them very defensive. They react as if they are waiting for the punchline, like when they were plain and unlovely back in grade school and some asshole kid wrote her a valentine and then laughed at her with all his asshole friends when she confessed her crush on him.

You are not an asshole. You are a man. A man notices things about women that the assholes don't, and understands what is most important to women. What is most important to them is NOT to be beautiful, or stunning, or hot, or spectacular, or any other bullshit come-on they've already heard. What matters most to them, what they dream of every night, is that someone cares for them. Someone will protect them. Nurture them. Hold them close and enjoy them for who they are: a cute girl.

All women want to be loved like little sisters, true, but there's a deeper level.

They want to be loved like daughters.

They all want someone to allow them to drop their shields and see through to the little girl who loves puppies and ice cream and sunday mornings lazing in bed in fluffy pajamas. When you tell her that you see how cute she is, this is what she hears. Finally, someone notices the girl that was always there.

There's lots more to say on this topic, especially on how to follow this opener with consistency and intent, and that's why I put 97 minutes of real teaching and demonstration on mp3 audio in "Sincere Direct Game." And now it's all yours at a serious discount, because, well, I like selling stuff, and because if you haven't heard just how easy it can be to meet a woman and blow her away without doing anything except being yourself... in the BEST way, you are missing out, bro. It really doesn't take miracles. It just takes a start: http://lvo3.com/store/index.html#sincere I encourage you to at least experiment with this direct, natural, warm approach, and see what happens. See what responses you get. See how many smiles you create. Hell, see if you don't find yourself smiling a little knowing that you have the ability, really and genuinely, to create a little more joy in the world.

And really, isn't that the highest motivation for us all? Remember, always leave her better than you found her.


Love, Sean P.S. I want to share this letter with you, not to sell you more stuff, but to start giving a little audience to the wonderful things that guys like you send me every day. Your words and your Love make this all work. I want to tell you how much I appreciate all that you do with the UCP and LVo3. You pretty much raised the bar for every other pickup fool out there. You go above and beyond with the low prices and the coaching calls, and helping people figure out where they'e at at on individual basis. Even giving people the heads up on affordable prices for workshops like AOF so they're not getting charged an arm and a leg just to fly out there. On top of that, you're also a real classic motherfucker. You tell it how it is, and dont tolerate any bullshit. You call people out, but you do it in a positive way so they can take a look at themselves and learn. And deep down, I know you do all that because you sincerely want to help people and teach men and women how to become better than themselves. That is the mark of a true teacher, and you should be proud of that.

I've grown so much as a person in the last five months since I joined the UCP and I've learned a lot, not just about women, but about myself, and about dealing with people in a loving and open way. I remember back in November when you were talking about launching the UCP in January and I remember being excited because I knew it was going to be badass whatever it was. You said something in an email back then about joining the UCP so you can say you were there at the beginning and you were there to see it blossom. Well wherever its going, I feel privileged to be a part of it... and one day, I'll be at PSP.

In closing, I want to thank you for your gift of teaching that you share freely and lovingly with Lvo3. I know you've changed a lot of men and women out there for the better, and thats a real respectable accomplishment. Like Deida says, just stick to your deepest truth, and even if things dont go how you planned, at least you can learn from it. All the best Sean.


-Dennis.

P.S. Congratulations on your new girl. She sounds like a real leading lady. Take care.

Your Heart is Free

August 19, 2008

I had a long, eventful, and really, um, challenging night. I met someone who absolutely does not tolerate my bullshit, and she was not shy in telling me what it was, when I was doing it, and to knock it the fuck off.

My bullshit has been my mode of expression for so long that it's really scary to confront. It scares me to think that after all this time, it's like I thought I had broken through to the real bottom of things, but now it's like I hit that bottom, and cracked it open, and there's ANOTHER bottom 50 fathoms down.

It's a long road, right?

And I've mixed a whole lot of metaphors already. Pardon me for that; I'm not feeling really eloquent. I'd like to be honest. I'm going to do all I can to not lie and not pretend and just tell you what I learn.

I'm a nerd. I'm a geek. I'm socially awkward and unsure of my self and I get nervous around new people, especially pretty girl people, and it's always been that way. I brag about doing things well so people don't find out these things that are true, but the thing with bragging is everyone sees through it.

Some people might just put up with it because... well, maybe they are doing the same thing too.

I'm not smart enough to find some great way to fix everything. That would be sweet, but maybe that one Golden Idea isn't out there.

We just change and adapt over time. We change not in real time, but some kind of human-scale geologic time. Just like mountains don't simply appear overnight, and glaciers move just inch by inch to carve out canyons, we can only evolve into what we dream of tiny, tiny increments at a time.

All we can do is keep moving forward, however slowly. We don't have to keep running; we just have to not stop.

I want to share things that are making my life better (even the scary ones), and offer those ideas to you as well.

Like the line in "Braveheart" goes (maybe part of my bullshit is taking most of my wisdom from movies, eh?):

"Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it."

Whatever is happening in your life, however you feel trapped, you're not. It's not real. The only prison is in your mind and you can take just one step, just one, to start to get free. Maybe you won't be happy right away, but at least you'll start moving.

I want to share a letter I wrote to someone who emailed me this week, and share what I told him. See, what he told me reminds me this stuff may be a bigger deal than we realized.

His friend hanged himself last night. He killed himself one year after breaking up with his wife.

And I don't know how to make things better. I'm not a doctor, and I really don't have any training in psych or counselling; all I have is my experience. And I'm blessed that I've never lost anyone close to suicide.

I've had that feeling myself. It's never gotten to where I did, or even planned anything, but I've fantasized about just getting the release of ending it all. And that feeling sucks.

So here's what I have to offer. I hope it means something to you.

I can't even express in words how sorry I am to hear about your friend.

But I can express this. I know what you are feeling. I've been there. Fuck, some days I'm close to there again. I do think there are ways to pull yourself out of it, and I believe that the PUA stuff was a good idea, but it really doesn't help get you there.

I don't know if this is any help, but I have one idea that I'd like to share. Take as much time off as you can, find a city or country you'd like to see, and travel as cheap as you can to get there and stay in a hostel. I'm in one now in Toronto, and even though it's kinda hard every day because it's full of friendly people from everywhere and I'm still not comfortable socially, it's pulling me out of my shell even more, and I think teaching me more about meeting people as myself than anything I've ever read or studies.

In fact, if you can take time off now, I invite you to come to Toronto and if you can find a space at the Global Backpackers Hostel here in downtown, I'd be happy to introduce you around and... I really think you'd love it.

We really weren't meant to be alone, you know? Even though sometimes it's hard to be with others, that's what we are really here to do. And for some of us, it just takes more practice to undo the bad practices and habits we built up for so many years.

People are meant to be trusted. And we were meant to trust ourselves, and trust that things always do get better. Being with people who simply don't judge you might be the best way to get that.

PSP: Where to Stay in Toronto

August 18, 2008

I have got so much cool stuff to show you in Toronto (on top of a mind-blowing workshop), and I want to start it right.

Travel and lodging is always a big expense for workshops, so I want to propose this:

If you can, please book a space at a hostel in Toronto. It's not luxury, but for what you will be doing all weekend, which is becoming the best man and best social animal you can be, it's perfect. Don't lock yourself away in a hotel room. Don't stay in your same house doing the same thing.

Take the chance this weekend to break your bad old lonely habits. If you've never stayed in a good, fun, social hostel before, you have no idea how much just this simple change can affect your life for good.

And no matter where you stay, you're always welcome to hang out at the sweet Tiki Bar in social central TO at my hostel on King Street West. :)

Check this hostel for space:

http://www.hostelbookers.com/booking/index.cfm?hostel=4911&nights=2&fuseaction=hosteldetails

And PLEASE get on the forum to keep up with all the info and plans for PSP. We're up to 15 people now, so me and Lucy are gonna get cracking on making sure this event can be as big and Bold as Love. :)

Forum is here (no password required):

http://www.websitetoolbox.com/mb/gettinggreatgirls?forum=123271

Love,

Sean

Mi Vida Loca

August 18, 2008

Annoying as fuck when you get a girl's number and she won't answer or call back, isn't it?

Pisses you off when she flakes, doesn't it?

Should make you wonder why the fuck she's playing games with you, shouldn't it?

Ponder this: if you read "The Game," and you've been using "techniques" to pick her up, and playing "The Game," what the hell do you expect her to do?

If you play games with her, she'll play them with you. And here's a hard fact. She's way better at playing them then you are, cos she's been playing them at expert level since 12-years-old.

You want her to be real? You go first.

Why Girls Flake

August 3, 2008

Annoying as fuck when you get a girl's number and she won't answer or call back, isn't it?

Pisses you off when she flakes, doesn't it?

Should make you wonder why the fuck she's playing games with you, shouldn't it?

Ponder this: if you read "The Game," and you've been using "techniques" to pick her up, and playing "The Game," what the hell do you expect her to do?

If you play games with her, she'll play them with you. And here's a hard fact. She's way better at playing them then you are, cos she's been playing them at expert level since 12-years-old.

You want her to be real? You go first.

A Bad Day

August 2, 2008

Get Girls to Check YOU Out - A How-To

July 31, 2008

Jaysus. What a weekend. I have so much to say, and so little energy left over to say it. Not to mention I have a beautiful, spirited, and DEAD-SEXXXY Isreali girl (who picked ME up at the club with smoother moves than I'll ever have), headed over to my hotel in an hour, so I'll make this quick. :)

We raised thousands of dollars this weekend at Sargeathon2008, and all that money, and donations from the free DVD of the event, will help his mother get the treatments she needs to fight off the late-stage liver cancer that is trying to break her spirit.

But there's nothing I learned more this weekend that the Spirit cannot be broken, your Power cannot be denied, and the things you want in life cannot be stopped, as long as your Heart is open and strong.

And this is why I'm going to take the very best lesson from this weekend, the work that some amazing men here paid hundreds of dollars to experience, and give it to you as a gift.

A gift. No sneaky sales pitch, no ulterior motive. I simply want to share the wisdom I have been given so you can live a happier life.

Every man dreams of having girls check him out. Every man dreams of being the guy who walks into any room and has the gorgeous eyes of every hottie look at him with lust.

Every man dreams of being the MAN that women try to pick up.

Well, it ain't just a dream. It's real. I've found the key, and now I'm going to unlock it for you. My friend Lucy, an expert in Loving Tantra, taught this to men who, well, the kind of men who hear the word "Tantra" and immediately tune out, thinking there's some wacky hippy-dippy sensitive-pony-tailed guy stuff at work. But as soon as they finished this exercise, they went from average guys to MEN who were drawing women's eyes everywhere they went.

What women look for in a man is very simple. They need to see your Power, and Your Vulerability. They need to see your Strength, and your Love. They want to feel, to be blunt, your Hard **** in them, and your Open Heart on them. And there's an easy way for you to start doing it right now.

This exercise is very powerful, and has a magnetic effect on women, so please don't share this with anyone that you suspect is still angry, or bitter, or somehow unable to really Love women. I'm giving this to you because I trust you. Please respect that.

Now. Here is your exercise. Here is your practice. Here is the work that will transform you right now.

Stand up. Close your eyes. Quiet your mind, and focus on your breath. Now, start to feel your body. Don't move, but simple pay attention to every part of your body, one at a time, as if a giant MRI machine was scanning you. Feel it all.

Now move that attention to your crotchatal region. You know the area I'm talking about. Bring your focus... all the way down where your focus usually is when you see a picture of a gorgeous girl. Just feel your body there, and keep breathing. Breathe deep, and breathe slow.

Now inhale. Inhale deep and slow, and as you draw your breath in, let your attention rise up from down low all the way up to the center of your chest. There's a spot just above the zygomatic process, a space right above the center of your chest, where the energy of your heart lives.

Put your attention there, and exhale. Now move your attention back down, and breathe in again, and move your attention back up to your heart.

Imagine you are pulling the very real electricity that keeps your body alive from the very bottom of your spine, up that electrical highway to the center of your chest. Feel how the center of your chest begins to warm. Feel how the muscles between your ribs start to stretch, and even ache. Feel how that spot on your chest start to feel like a space, an opening, a portal from your Heart out into the world.

Keep doing this for just 5 minutes.

Now, open your eyes. You will find that all the annoying thoughts that have been plauging you like busy bees are suddenly just whispers. You will feel IN your body, and out of your head. You will feel that your Hard **** is strong, and your Open Heart is free.

THIS is how you walk through the world. Just go find a place where the kind of girls you like will be. Make yourself comfortable. Stand still, lean against a wall, or just grab a seat. Now with your eyes open or closed, do this exercise again. Every time you see a beautiful girl walk by, breathe in her beauty and let that energy fill you from **** to Heart. Let the feeling of pleasure fill you up. Let it grow and be.

When you do this, you will find that women's eyes start to turn to you. They may stare, they may just look for a second. But they cannot help but look because the electricity you are moving and building is quite literally, scientifically, a magnetic force.

Women will be DRAWN TO YOU.

Women will be, in the parlance of the pickup "gurus," ATTRACTED.

Literally. Attracted. Like iron filings to a magnet.

I know you are probably thinking what I thought when I first heard this. It's crazy, and silly, and goofy, and does nothing. I mean, you have to be good-looking and rich and flashy for girls to look, right?

Here's the real-deal. When I arrived in Toronto, I spent days walking around this city, admiring the variety of sexxxy women here. I was dressed well, I was smiling, I was looking good and feeling confident.

But not a single girl looked my way.

After I did this exercise last night, I went to a club where I really didn't even talk to anyone, and not only had every girl there looking at me, but had a girl come up to me out of nowhere, drag me to the bar, by me a drink, and make damn sure that she got to spend as much time with me as she could while I'm here.

Today I sat at lunch and watched people walk by, and I counted 73 girls, all ages, all races, all sexxxy in their way, looking at ME.

I looked just the same as I did on Friday. Well, actually, I looked a little worse, cos I'm wearing a ratty shirt and have been sleep-deprived and hungover for days.

But it's not what I looked like that drew them. It's the FEELING I have. It's the power in my body radiating out of my heart.

It's the magnet of my masculine presence.

Do this now, and track your results. Then be sure to let me know what you find.

I already know what's gonna happen, but I can't wait for you to find out. :)

Be Love and Be Free,

Sean

P.S. After you do this and find yourself transformed, you might just want some more. That's why I'm coming back and doing a very special intense "Tantra for Pickup" workshop next month. It's going to be powerful, revolutionary, and because I want to share this with everyone, crazy-cheap. So stay posted for details and be ready to pounce, cos this is gonna sell out, well, the record now for sold-out is the 4 hours, 18 minutes it took for men to grab all the spots at The Next Level... and this is gonna go FASTER.

My Weekend in Toronto, in Video Form

July 30, 2008

Here's are some perfect impressionistic short films that gives you the full range of experience of my amazing weekend in Toronto at Sargeathon2008. It is simply a classic of cinema and not to be missed.

Saturday Night at the Clubs:

Sunday Night at the Clubs:

And finally... coming home to Miami after too many nights at the Clubs:

I Have ADHD, and I'm Proud to Admit It

July 26, 2008

This is MY experience. Before talking to a good doc, I was messing up my life all over the place. The combination of treatment with Lamictal for Bipolar and Straterra for ADHD, along with good daily practices like meditation, limiting my drinking and drug intake, knowing my real limits and accepting and embracing them, and just having people around me who accept these qualities of me as nothing more embarrassing than having brown hair has changed my life for the better in every way.

Before I faced this, and it did take COURAGE, not weakness, to ask for help, I was hurting people all the time. Now I do more to make people around me happy. My work is better, my relationships are better, and hell, even my stupid anger is better.

For instance, it's been days since I called anyone a fucking cockbiter. That's progress!

I was totally skeptical and resistant to admitting anything like this, because I saw it as some confession of powerlessness.

It's not powerlessness. There are things we all need to get the best life we can. Exercise, education, good nutrition, sex, etc. Some of us need other things. Aren't there things you find help you that others in your life may not use, or understand?

Wouldn't you like to feel that what helps you is OK, and won't subject you to judgement?

I won't judge you for your differing opinion. Please don't judge me or anyone else who is struggling more than is fair, and simply asking for some guidance.

Love,

Sean

Can Looking Good Make it HARDER to Meet Girls?

July 26, 2008

Finally! The question I've been waiting for!

"Sean,

What's the name of the song you're playing in your SeanM.TV videos ?

It rocks!

Do you have any other good songs ? :)"

You're the first one to ask, and i'm stoked to share it with you.

It's the greatest rock and roll band in the world, The Supersuckers, "Born with a Tail"

They. Fucking. Rock.

Keep watching, cos every episode i'll pay different cool music and tell you who it is: SeanM.TV Love, Sean

Can Looking Good Make it HARDER to Meet Girls?

July 24, 2008

As you start to take better care of yourself, get healthy, pay attention to the image you present, and in general make yourself LOOK good, you may find that suddenly it can actually get HARDER to meet women.

It's happened to me, and I see it happen all the time. The little games you used to play when you were not such a presence (especially being cocky, or, to be more accurate, sarcastic, to get girl's attention), goes from playful to asshole.

So how do you fix it?

Simple. STOP being cocky.

Cocky really never works for anyone for real, but esp. as you start to look good (which is very different than being good-looking, cos every man can make himself look good).

I've learned this over and over again, and now I find as I'm getting more and more comfortable and NOT sandbagging myself like I used to (I'd try to undermine my looks), most of the time things with women get way more subtle, and I have to be way more gentle.

Why? Girls are intimidated by guys who look good, and confident, and secure, just as we are intimidated by women with the same qualities.

Know what balances it out? A good attitude, a loving heart, and a genuine smile.

Stop being cocky. Train yourself. Here's an exercise that will fix it.

For one entire weekend, every time you say something cocky (or even funny, cos we men are really bad at detecting when we cross over from funny to cocky), smack yourself in the shoulder as hard as you can. I did this for one weekend in Toronto, and it forced me to drop my old defense mechanism of making jokes to make myself look good, and instead just be open to people and trust they would simply like me as I am.

It's a wonderful thing to look your best. And as it develops, you need to make sure you also ACT your best. :)

Love,

Sean

P.S. Looking good can also make it easier from time-to-time, y'know. When I was taking the elevator up to my friend Johnny's apartment in his super-luxe apartment building, two blondes got on, deep in conversation. The door closed. I looked at them for a second, smiled, nodded, and went back to my daydreaming., I noticed out of the corner of my eye that they both kinda looked at each other, and stopped talking. The one closest to me said to her friend, "um, what were you saying? I'm kind of distracted right now." Then she and her friend both giggled a little, and when I looked over, they were both kinda googly-eyed looking at me. I smiled, made some joke about how it was my puffy Wham UK-era George Michael hair that was distracting them, and the one closest to me said, "no... it's just... the whole... thing."

I looked at both of them, told them how sweet they were, smiled, and got off at my floor wishing them a great night.

THAT'S a pretty good feeling. Thank you, gym membership! Thank you, cooler clothes that fit! Thank you, genuine confidence! :)

How NOT to Propose to a Woman

July 23, 2008

I've proposed marriage... twice in my life. And I've learned. So read on.

First time was great... I lit candles all around the house, and by each candle was a note that said "i love you because..." each with a new reason. 23 of them. Her age. And by the time she got to the last one, "I love you because you will be my love forever, and my wife," she was crying and smiling and when I got down on my knees to show her the ring she said yes before I could even show it to her.

THEN I fucked it all up by going out to dinner, and it was uncomfortable, and weird, and not the kind of place we liked to go, and I totally killed the mood.

Did that help kill us?

It sure as fuck didn't help.

Here's the deal. The proposal should be for you and her. Private. Do NOT put her on display. Just plan some sweet surprise for her alone, just the two of you, say your thing, give her the ring, then fuck like bunnies all night.

THEN you can celebrate the next day with friends and family.

And enjoy it, man. It is a wonderful thing.

An Argument AGAINST Raising Money to Cure Breast Cancer

July 21, 2008

I've started my annual campaign to work with my Mom (a two-time Breast Cancer survivor) and the Avon Walk for the Cure to raise money for our 39.3-mile walk this September in Charlotte, NC. And as much as I love the amazing response I get from men, I also get some questions that really highlight how much work there is still to do to change this world for the better.

I don't go off on a rant much anymore, but sometimes you really have to just break out the whupping stick. This thread comes from a discussion on a torrent site, and I hope the kid who started it can gain wisdom faster than I did.

Did you know that far less money is spend for research on the treatment of prostate cancer? Hey, you're a man. Why not instead help men worldwide buy supporting prostate cancer research?

Dude...

Shut.

The.

Fuck.

Up.

This isn't a competition. I HAVE raised money for prostate cancer. I helped in a program at Mass General to create awareness and get men in for regular testing.

MEN get breast cancer too. But no one talks about it because it's too embarrassing, and that is fucked up. And by the way, it's MORE lethal in men because men don't get tested.

Speaking of fucked up, consider what you are saying here: we draw lines in the sand and yell "it's not fair" that there's more money for Breast Cancer Research than Prostate Cancer? Seriously?

And think about this: one of the reasons there's more money for Breast Cancer research is because women work together with big companies like Avon and hold kick-ass events that mobilze people, like the 40-mile Avon Walk, and the 60-mile walk.

When we MEN get our shit together and stop wasting money on plasma TVs, cars we don't need that burn up gas we can't afford, and yes, pickup products that make us think we can bed any woman when in truth that very pursuit will make us miserable, then maybe we can even it out.

Till then, check yourself, chief. What have YOU done recently to help others? When's the last time you gave a homeless person a dollar? When's the last time you gave an hour, just an hour, to help a charity in person? When's the last time you gave money to help without arguing why you shouldn't?

What you give is what you get.

Here endeth the rant. :)

See Women as They Are

July 21, 2008

Sometimes people surprise the fuck out of you if you can just get your damn ego and pre-conceptions out of the way. Read this essay by a man who is not me, and when I tell you at the end who wrote it, you may find your mind expanded.

“I travel a lot.

And if you’ve ever spent some time at the airport, you know that it can be pretty boring, so I’ve come up with some methods to make the experience more interesting.

The best one by far, is a combination of the sacred plant and an ipod. It’s the only way to travel, really.

It’s not like I’m gonna have to make judgment calls or operate heavy machinery, or anything. I’m just going to be stuck strapped into in a seat for 5 hours, so what better time to enjoy an altered state of consciousness?

All of a sudden a waste of a day becomes and adventure, and an opportunity for a different way of looking at life.

My ipod is connected to my head with these really powerful shure earbuds that have these special drivers in them that makes music pumping into my head sound incredible, and as I’m thinking about all this shit, the perfect soundtrack seems to find it’s way to me through the wonders of synchronicity and random shuffle.

The car drops me off at the terminal, I check my bags and go through security, turn on the ipod, and the show begins…

I see the people moving around in the airport, and I’m aware that for whatever reason I always seem to think of people I’ve never met as existing in some sort of a static state.

Like the old lady with the bad limp has always been the old lady with the bad limp.

That’s the only way I’ve ever known her in the 5 minutes that I’ve been aware she’s alive. Normally, I probably wouldn’t give it much thought, but right now the pot lollypop dissolving in my mouth is releasing its magical influence, and the cannabanoid receptors in my brain are firing on all cylinders.

The old lady’s pants ride up when she sits down, and she massages her pale, frail ankles.

I look at her face, and try to picture her 50 years ago as Liz Phair’s lovely voice sings in my ear:

“Give it to me, don’t give it away. Don’t think about what the others say, my skin’s getting clear, my hair’s so bright, all you do is fuck me every day and night. You’re my seeeecret beauty routine, nah nah nah nah what my body has seen…”

She looks up at me, and I smile.

She smiles back. I don’t know her name, so I’ll just call her Dorothy.

I’ve never met a young Dorothy, so I’m pretty sure they’ve just about given up on that name for kids.

Where’s she going?

Old people love to visit relatives. Sex is a thing of the distant past, there’s no job to show up for, and most of their friends are dead. The only thing many of them have left is their offspring.

Dorothy’s hands have dark spots where her misfiring body has sent warning signals to the upper layers of the skin to let her know the end is near.

But that wasn’t always the case.

I bet at one point in time those hands were soft and smooth. They had a controlled, delicate touch that back in 1950 was to die for. I try to picture them wrapping around a young man’s back, pulling him into her juicy, succulent lips… rubbing her aching pussy against his hard dick…

I’m looking at the structure of her face, and I bet at one time she was very beautiful.

I wonder how she feels about the way she looks now.

I wish I could turn the time back and watch her wrinkles fade.

Go back through thousands of rotations of the earth and see what she used to be like when the life force inside of her was at it’s peak of radiance.

I want to watch the fat fill into her cheeks and the sparkle return to her eyes.

I want to see her when she was fresh and young, and she had that smell of passionate affection about her that every beautiful young woman does.

I wonder if she ever really considered that she would someday be in the physical state she’s in now. I wonder if her experience in this life turned out anything remotely like the way she thought it was going to.

Loud and crisp, Jimi Hendrix is right on the same page.

“I didn’t mean to take up all your sweet time, I’ll give it right back one of these days…”

Remember back when you were a kid, and you thought there were actually people that knew what this thing we call “life” was really all about? Remember when you thought there really were “grown ups?”

Then, all of a sudden one day you become a “grown up” yourself and the terrifying revelation occurs to you that there really are no “grown ups,” just kids that got old and had kids of their own, and no one really knows what the fuck is going on.

Moments of realization as to how fucking bizarre life really is slip into our consciousness periodically like ghosts, only to be chased off by the cover of US magazine’s speculation that Jennifer Anniston may very well be pregnant. The man standing at the newsstand uses his lust for the latest BMW to distract himself from the fact that his dick no longer works, and that he can find no rational explanation as to why even after a heart attack he still spends most of his life doing something that he doesn’t even remotely enjoy. The whole scene is just so fucking different when you’re high and the music is playing. What’s really weird to me right now - is why don’t I see life like this all the time? I’m not seeing anything that’s not logical or obvious, but it just seems so incredible how clear it all is to me now. When I’m not high and there’s no music playing, these ideas are all there somewhere, but they all just seem so much more abstract.

I have a theory as to why it is that most people are in such a deep trance.

I think what human beings have done by using ever advancing technology to make TV shows, movies, and songs, is that we’ve created something that’s far too influential for our minds to rationally process, especially when it’s hitting us over and over on a daily basis since childhood.

Human beings naturally imitate successful behavior. It’s how we learn from other people, and absorb their life’s lessons without having to live them ourselves.

We follow their lead, and absorb their example.

But what if what we’re absorbing is bullshit? What if it’s bullshit on a 50ft screen with surround sound, and you’re seeing it in the presence of hundreds of other people who are equally moved by the experience?

Every emotional scene is complimented and enhanced by music that guides the way you think about what you’re seeing. The good guy always survives, and love conquers all.

Are our brains really set up by nature to rationally process input like that?

I’m not really sure that they are.

Just think what would happen if you could go back in time and grab a guy from ancient Greece, then pull him into the present and make him sit in a crowded theatre with full THX surround sound and watch “the Lord of the Rings.”

The dude would probably shit his robes and pass out from shock.

I’m not sure if we realize how crazy some of the things we have today really are.

It’s sort of snuck up on us as the technology has steadily improved, and the access to it has steadily increased, but I think it’s increased far quicker than our ability to rationally process it has evolved. We’ve gotten used to it being around to the point where we hardly even consider it, but really there has been some pretty crazy shit that has happened to human beings pretty fucking quickly. I mean, somehow in only the last hundred years, we’ve gone from watching plays where the people performing had to act all fake and talk loud so that people in the back of the room could hear them, to the point where we are now that finds me typing these words to you on a small metal object that weighs less than 5 pounds, and it’s connected to the entire fucking planet wirelessly through the internet.

CNN is playing on dozens of TVs in the airport, and as the image of tanks rolling across some distant land plays on the screen, incredible music is blaring in my ear that was recorded by a guy that died over 30 years ago.

That’s some pretty fucking insane shit, and a pretty huge leap from the influence of the natural world. And it’s not stopping.

It will never stop. Even if every human being on the planet was wiped out except for a few hundreds idiots, if those idiots could figure out how to stay alive and made sure that they kept making people, eventually people would become smart again, and they would re-learn everything we’ve figured out today.

I actually think that’s probably happened at least once in our past. I think it probably explains the pyramids.

It’s almost like innovation is alive. Like it’s some life form that we can’t recognize, but we exist in a symbiotic relationship with. And the more time goes on, the more involved this relationship becomes. We need it, and it needs us, and one of the methods that it uses to keep us around and working hard, is that with our help, it dispenses a steady stream of bullshit.

We went from hunters and gatherers, to people that stayed in one place and grew and raised all their own food, to immense amounts of people jammed into one area, completely dependant on machines and technology to survive, and feeling naked and vulnerable when you lose your cell phone. And the main glue that’s keeping the whole ship together is bullshit.

I see that the plane is boarding, so I keep the ipod on, close the laptop, and head to the gate.

The stewardess’ lips are moving as she scans my ticket, but all I hear is Bob Marley.

“Don’t let them change ya, or even rearrange ya…”

I say “Thank you,” and hope that my voice doesn’t sound like a deaf guy’s.

I take my seat next to Joey Diaz, pull one earbud out, and I say that I wonder what movie they’re playing.

Joey, looks over at me, and says,

“Who gives a fuck. It ain’t The Outlaw Josey Wales, so I’m taking a nap.”

The plane takes off, I put the other ear bud in place, and re-open the laptop.

The movie starts playing, and it’s some wretched creation with Antonio Banderas teaching what appears to be troubled ghetto youths how to dance.

I’m sure it had a happy ending, and some warm moments, but I never gave it a chance.

I just looked up at the images, while Steve Miller played along with my dancing thoughts:

“Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping, into the future…”

Somewhere below the plane I’m on right now, a chick is sitting at home drinking a beer in front of her television, tired from a long day at work, and feeling shitty because she’s 27 and she’s still not married. A commercial comes on, and in it, there’s a woman in a beautiful field, and she’s laughing, and spinning in circles holding her baby. The chick at home puts down her Michelob Ultra, and searches for a pen to write down the name of the anti-depressant that she needs to ask her doctor about.

She softly says to herself,

“I wanna spin in circles in the field with my baby too…”

Why do anti depressants have such complicated names that sound like weird European cities? I mean, what the fuck is a Wellbutrin?

Why can’t they just call them “Happy Pills?”

Joey is not quite asleep yet, and I see his weight shift slightly to the side. I take several deep breaths before I realize what he’s done, and by then it’s too late.

I immediately pull my shirt over my nose to protect myself from what HAS to be the worst fart in the history of the human race. It’s so fucking horrible that I’m afraid that I might throw up inside my shirt, and I can’t even run away because I’ve got the window seat, and I’m strapped in place.

My ipod is still blaring in my ear, and as I gag Terence McKenna is talking about the end of time over a techno beat:

“History is ending, because the dominator culture has lead the human species into a blind alley…”

Just when the smell is starting to die down, Joey lets another, even more horrifying one loose. I look over at him and his eyes open WIDE.

Now, it’s so bad that I’m laughing. Tears are rolling down my face, and as I look up, Antonio Banderes is teaching the underprivileged youths how to salsa.

Over the pounding sound of my ipod, I hear a woman in the row behind us cry out,

“OH… MY… GOD!”

I look over at Joey and he smiles.

There’s your fucking happy pill, right there.

Re-posted from the Joe Rogan Blog at:

Why You NEED to Lick Pussy

July 20, 2008

Lock on it like a pitbull. Listen till the 6 minute mark, trust me. Otherwise your kids will have big soft water-heads. :)

How to Date a Supermodel.

July 20, 2008

I even answer questions on the awesome torrent sites I support like ThePlace and BitSeduce. Speaking of the almighty BS, here's a question I got today that we all should think about.

“ Got a date with a supermodel tonight. Really don't care if you guys don't believe me... but I need some general advice obviously I know what I'm doing I got her in the first place but if anyone has any tips or experience it would be appreciated.

My advice?

Connect connect connect connect.

99 out of 100 guys treat her like a beauty freak and cannot see a real person. Be that ONE guy.

Just imagine you were George Clooney and some girl went out with you and talked about how famous and awesome you were.

Now imagine another girl goes out with you and wants to know all about how you grew up in Kentucky, and she tells you she's from a small town too, and it's funny how some things don't change even when you move to a big city, isn't it?

Who interests you more?

Be curious, genuinely curious about her, and if you relate to her, DO IT.

Don't play it cool. Don't worry about entertaining her. Find out if there's a real person there.

I'm Gary Busey? Sweeeeeet.

July 19, 2008

The man, the myth, the legend, Thundercat, paid me what I feel is the highest compliment a man can pay another man today.

Apparently, I am endlessly entertaining and amazing to watch, and really, really scary at the same time.

Well. True dat. :)

Listen up, and don't miss his podcast every Friday at:
http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/

And in case you don't know why I love it so much, well, just let me make this clear. Much like my man Busey (he was in Big Wednesday, for fuck's sake!), I too do not work on Elvis's birthday. :)

SeanM.TV - An Apology to Tyler Durden, Mystery, Lance Mason, and You

July 18, 2008

I apologize to Mystery, Tyler Durden, Lance Mason and more and talks about how the community can grow and help more people than ever. Check SeanM.TV today:

Meet Me In Toronto Next Week (Video)

July 17, 2008

It's time to give back. It starts with me, and continues with you. Check The Sean Show today:

http://sargeathon.com

Here's the note from my friend Miso at NaturalSeducers.com

"Please read carefully... one person's life depends on it!"

Gentlemen...

Some of you may be aware already that our friend Snow's Mother has been diagnosed with late stage Liver Cancer and has spent number of weeks at St. Michael's hospital here in Toronto. After a round of chemotherapy that almost cost her her life it was determined by the oncologist doctors that there was nothing that their treatments could do for her so she was sent home to wait and die from this terrible disease.

Snow being a strong and determined man who doesn't lose hope that easily (as some of you may know from personal experience) has since dedicated all of his time to taking care of his Mother and to taking charge of her alternative treatments, which she is responding to very well and seems to be on the verge of making a remarkable recovery.

However, these alternative treatments and specialists can be very expensive... so our local Toronto Community's best Instructors and close friends have gotten together and decided to raise funds for her medical expenses by doing what they do best - sharing their wisdom, experience, knowledge and hard-earned skills by putting on a one of a kind bootcamp!

This special event taking place on July 25th, 26th and 27th (full 3 days & nights) in downtown Toronto will feature over a dozen speakers teaching their latest techniques and insights that will put you way ahead of the rest in attracting, getting, keeping and pleasing (mentally and sexually) the women of your dreams!

You've probably been exposed to these experts already (directly or indirectly) through lairs, popular products on the market out there (David DeAngelo himself has featured two of these products in his programs alone!), workshops and such... and they have all volunteered to dedicate some time out of their busy schedules to this cause and help save a life by sharing their best ideas with you.

Forget all the routines and fake hype from people who sit behind a computer writing all kinds of sales letters, upselling you on all kinds of ridiculous products and events that are no different than anything else you've already heard and seen, while in real life being totally uncomfortable and uncalibrated around gorgeous women and trying to sell you something they don't even have!

We are talking the real deal here - guys who are out there, constantly putting themselves on the line, meeting women 24/7 (even while they sleep!), juggling 5-6 dates per day, having more sex than 99.9% of population ever will, as well as dealing with that special one they've spent years hunting down and cultivating amazing relationships with those women... and you get access to these people for 3 full days!

What does the "pleasure" like this cost, you might ask... That is a great question! I'm glad you asked.

Every single individual involved in this event charges at least $150 per hour of their time. So this event would probably be worth around $5,000.

But guess what - since they are not putting this event for their personal gain and profit, and are instead trying to raise funds to help one of their own, they're dedicating their time for FREE throughout the whole weekend.

That means it is really up to you to determine what this event is worth to you and donate accordingly to the fund. We have a suggested donation amount in mind, a bare minimum that most people shouldn't even think twice about for an event and experience of this magnitude, but we are also giving you an option to set your own donation - whatever you feel is fair amount, whether it's more or less than the suggested amount.

http://sargeathon.com

I'll be there. I'm flying up on my own dime and volunteering to do whatever they want me to do. I may be teaching, I may be talking, or I may just be getting water and food for the great coaches there. Doesn't matter. What does matter is that I will be there to help.

If you are near Toronto, be there to help my friend in need, and help yourself.

Be Good,

Sean

Sean's REAL NAME! (Video Evidence)

July 16, 2008

Here it is. Time to drop the charade. My real identity... my real name, with proof captured on video. Check it:

Dear Sean - Should I Use Jargon?

July 16, 2008

ok cool. yeh i should remove the words that are commonly used in the community like barry kirkey talks about in his show.

It's a process, man, and one we've all been thru. The "community" stuff is seductive cos it makes you think there's this secret technology that only you can find, and that's why it uses codes and the net and never ever ever makes real videos that prove what it's like.

It's like aliens. we WANT to believe. the truth is simpler, and actually better. you just have to keep becoming a better man, and you'll get better women. :)

But I'm still going to see "X-Files." :)

LiveBlogging Sean on Barry Kirkey (with YouTube Video)

July 14, 2008

Here's the link. Go listen to his show NOW! Better than Howard Stern.

http://revolution31.com/Blog

Here's the streaming version:

Here's my video thank you (loooove letter) to Barry.

it's 5:58 AM ET. I'm awake. Weird ass dreams and then two alarms went off to wake me... my annoying cell phone, and my cool new program for the Mac that sets an alarm to "Tessie," by the Dropkick Murphys.

Sitting on the porch of my mom's beach house, looking at the sea, and waiting to be famous... or be buried. :)

6:10:

6:15:

6:20:

6:30:

Uhhh... 8:30.

So much for the live blog. Interview was supposed to go 30 minutes, and instead ran for over 2 hours. Best. Interview. Ever.

Barry is great to talk to, and I totally apologize for being stand-offish when I first met him. Now we both get it. He used to work for someone who acted like a douche, and I used to work for someone who acted like a douche. No more.

If you like ass-licking, titties, drugs, rumor-mongering and gossip, and more assplay... listen to the show. NOW! :)

http://revolution31.com/Blog

Sean's on Barry Kirkey

July 13, 2008

It's on like a golden thong, beeyatches.

Tomorrow at 6 in the farkin' morning I get up and rap with the one and only Barry.

Why 6 AM? Cos he's a workhorse, man, and that's how real radio goes. None of this making him schedule an interview for the afternoon and do it later like Thundercat. Fuck no. I'm old school.

This is like Howard Stern, baby. Classic Howard. When Howard does his show, that is when you are on. Barry says 6, I do 6.

And either he's gonna find out I'm phony, and it will be great radio, or he'll find out I'm a good guy, and it will be great radio. Either way, I make you this promise:

We will talk a LOT about dwarf donkey porn. :)

Tune in to http://revolution31.com/Blog and join the carnival of pain. :)

Meet Sean in Amsterdam!

July 12, 2008

See me, along with my friends Johnny Soporno, Zan Perrion, AFC Adam Lyons, and many more at

The Real Man Conference in Amsterdam, September 20 & 21, 2008

I'm Not Good Looking

July 12, 2008

Time to dip into the UCP 24/7 Dating Helpline for today's wisdom.

In the clubs, I feel like I'm at a real disadvantage b/c I'm not that good looking. I'm also not ugly, either (something I realized last year) but I'm not uber-attractive, I wear really thick glasses (can't get contacts or lasik) and I'm overweight (which I'm working on... I've lost like 30 pounds since last august, but still have like 60 pounds to lose.) Anyhow, I just really have this limiting belief that in club/bar situations, where superficial things seem to matter more, that this is holding me back. I dunno, maybe I'm just using that as an excuse, and if I keep pressing through, then I'll find better success. But, if anyone's dealt with a limiting belief like that before, and can post some advice, I'd appreciate it.

Sure, everyone does that.

I'm cute, and still in good shape, big muscles and all. And I spent every day of my life wishing I was better looking. Fuck, I had ANEOREXIA as a teenager. No joke. I was a "husky" kid, so when I was 15 I starved myself for a summer and went from 5'4" and 150 pounds to 5'11" and 120 pounds.

You could count my ribs.

Fucked up, innit?

So here's the deal, and I'll keep saying it until it sinks in.

It is FAR more important to look good than to be good-looking. That means you figure out what makes you look best and accentuate it. Here's an example. I've met Derek Jeter in person. Stood 2 feet from him at a Starbucks. And he's... OK looking. Nothing special. Nice skin tone. Nice eyes. Weird hair. Tall, kinda thin. Chipmunk cheeks. Kinda quiet.

But he gets all the greatest girls. Why? First of all, he was perfectly groomed and dressed (and this was just to go play golf). He looked like he KNEW he was going out to be with people, and took the time to make an impression.

Now compare that with me. In my hidden cam video, I am very intentionally wearing nikes, bball shorts, and a hoodie. Why? Cos I want to make people feel totally at ease with me right away, so I dress comfortably (yet cleanly, and with some style... it's a Quiksilver hoodie, and $100 nikes) and it helps offset my big build and makes me appear very approachable.

Keep doing what you do. Keep working out. Make your body as healthy and strong as you can because it makes you feel good inside (trust me... I've had times in my life when I was in insane shape... and it did not help AT ALL in getting girls. I know it's hard to believe, but most guys in great shape are unhappy jerks, and taht kills it).

Do what you can with what you got. So you have to wear glasses? Make them fucking COOL glasses. Instead of hiding what makes you different, play it up and make it great. Fuck, when I was a kid all my cousins called me "B.B."

Bubble-butt.

I got a backyard, man. Always have. Fuck, I had to wear Toughskins as a kid cos wasn't no way my "husky" ass was fitting into Levi's.

Now that's some trauma, dude.

And I spent most of my life wearing oversized stuff and saggy jeans, not cos I was a wigger, but because I could HIDE that thing that was different about me. Now I'm finally starting to be comfortable with the fact that my big (I mean, like, Charles Barkely-big) ass is a good think cos it makes me stand out, and if I act embarrassed about it, it shows my insecurity.

But if I'm PROUD of the things that make me imperfect, how confident am I?

How much sexier was Cindy Crawford with that mole? Why is it that all the smoking hot girls you see on MySpace and amateur modeling sites aren't famous? Cos they don't have that DISTINCTIVENESS.

You're not supposed to be perfect. Perfect is ugly to the human eye. That's why we can 98% spot plastic surgery... cos it looks TOO good.

It takes a flaw to make beauty.

Follow the basic rules. Whenever you leave the house, leave it KNOWING what impression you are going to create on people. NEVER dress or put yourself together unintenionally. That's all that fashion is, y'know. That's all style is all about. It has nothing to do with buying expensive crap made by faggy designers to separate you from your wallet. It's about knowing what makes you FEEL good. The Dalai Lama wears some sweet-ass robes, and I make a billion dollar bet that when he puts them on, he gets the little strut going like, "i'm the MAN."

JayZ is a ugly motherfucker, and you very very very rarely see he dressed up at all, but when the man puts together his Roca wear with the sneakers and the jeans and the hoodie, it all comes together.

Find your style. Maybe you're a gym rat/surfer/outlaw biker like me. It took me 20 years to figure that I wear gym shorts, nikes, sleeveless tees, hoodies, faded jeans, motorcycle boots, a mullet and lots of interesting jewelry that doesn't quite fit together. And that's me. I feel damn good about how I look, cos I stopped trying to look like anyone else.

Do the same.

And please, please, please don't try to make yourself fit what you think people respond to at clubs. Seriously. If clubs aren't working for you, DON'T GO. Women at clubs act like insecure skanks trying to score coke. Only exceptions are the girls who are just there with friends for that once a year birthday or whatever, and don't really want to be there either. You can find all the cute girls you need at big and small BARS. What's the difference? If you walk into a place and not a single TV has sports on, you are in a faggy (not the same as gay, cos gay bars are awesome places to watch sports) club. Avoid. Like. MonkeyPox.

And P.S.... if you do ignore my sage advice and go to clubs anyways (I know, I know, I got to let you learn to be a grown-ass man on your own), remember... looks are just a part of what people want in clubs. Maybe, 3rd on the list. #1 is always FUN. Girls to to clubs to dance and have fun. To get free drinks and have fun. To hang with friends and have fun. To flirt with cute boys and have fun. To maybe, if it seems cool, hook up with a guy and have fun.

Guys go to look at hot chicks and have fun. To drink and have fun. To have the hope that tonight's the night and have fun.

Sad thing is, most people in clubs do NOT have fun (unless they got their hands on some coke, E, or ketamine). So if you can be the person having the most fun, you are by definition the most attractive person there. It's not easy, but it's fucking TRUE.

I'll prove it. If you walked into a club and saw a big fat ugly black dude (like 400 pounds big) ripping it up on the dance floor with the stupidest moves ever, like The Cabbage Patch and The Kid n Play, all with a big smile on his face, laughing and living it up, you think you'd look and think "I don't want to talk to that guy."

Hell no! You can't help but be drawn to people that are having more fun than you. Those people make you feel good, just like a hot girl can make you feel good, or like a girl who sees a really cute guy (like... Channing Tatum cute) will feel good. They are all the same thing. So if you are NOT Channing Tatum, be fun.

God's a fair guy. He let's you balance it out. And no matter what, thank GOD you were not born a girl, cos a girl who's 60 pounds overweight and wearing thick glasses can be as fun as Dave Chappelle in "Eddie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories," but us shallow-ass motherfucking men are never gonna see past the looks.

Get started now with the best workout-tanning plan ever, the Ab-Abber 2000. Cos, you know, a nice tan really makes the muscles stand out, and will really accentuate your abdominal muscles, your abs, and your... cloits...

Kiss Her Kiss Her Kiss Her!!!

July 10, 2008

Time to dip into the UCP 24/7 Dating Helpline for today's wisdom.

Sean, I'm confused.

I loved listening to your "first kiss" podcast. I took away from that to kiss her after she's felt like you could have kissed her a couple of times already, when you're not in a totally public place, when she's showing at least one of three particular physical signs.

And what I've found is, there's almost always a reason it's not exactly like that. And in this thread, you're saying to kiss her. Because that's how to make things happen, to see if things are going to happen.

How do you balance all these things? Are you saying, hell, if it's not perfect, maybe all you have is this semi-public place in the bar, then kiss her anyway?

Dude, if you wait for things to be perfect, you're gonna be waiting a long time.

And don't try to snow me with your excuses. I will make you a MILLION dollar bet right now that if I were a fly on the wall on your date, you didn't do ANY of the things I talked about in that class to get her excited and turned on, which is why you didn't feel you could kiss her, which is why you didn't try.

And I know how it is cos I've been there, dude. It's pure and simple fear of rejection, so let me break it down for you simply;

If she agrees to go out with you, she knows you want to kiss her. If you do not at least attempt to kiss her, she thinks you don't like her. Even if she doesn't WANT to kiss you, she wants you to try.

It's a version of the gambler's fallacy:

If she doens't like you and you don't try to kiss her, she still doesn't like you. If you doesn't like you and you try to kiss her, she may still not like you, but she will respect you for trying and may like your boldness. If she does like you and you don't try to kiss her, she thinks you don't like her. If she likes you and you kiss her, she likes you a LOT.

Every dude gets stuck on #2. You are ASSUMING unless she hangs up a giant banner over her pussy that says "I'm wet for you, you big big stud!" that she most likely does NOT like you that way, and if you try to kiss her you are breaking some rule of god and man and she will be horribly offended and shocked and call the cops and the bouncers and all her big angry dude friends, and then call your mom to tell her what a perv you are for trying to kiss her.

Which is all... bullshit.

Women don't like it when you try to have sex with them when they don't want to.

But kissing? Shit man... unless you try, you will never know for sure.

And trust me. You are wrong about 50% of the time when you think a girl doesn't want a kiss. All girls love kissing. If you make it clear you love it, and get more comfortable with it, you'll find you do it a lot more.

It's not a big deal. Remove your head from your arse, wash up nice, and go kiss her. And if she doesn't kiss back, smile and say "you're so cute I just couldn't resist."

This is the Late, Great, Gia

July 9, 2008

Video HowTo - Make Friends with Cool Guys

Do you want to be Tom Cruise? Or do you want to be Fast Eddie Felson, Butch Cassidy, fucking Cool Hand Luke, Paul Newman?

Do you want to pretend to be a cool guy, or be a cool guy?

If you want to BE cool, you've got to start associating with cool.

It's a problem we all face. You go out to meet girls, but your friends aren't really any help, because they are just as inept as you are with women. You see a guy, or group of guys who look pretty cool and seem like they are having fun, and getting attention from girls, and you realize how much easier it would be if you were part of a group like that.

But how to get in the group?

Today's Video HowTo from LVO3.com has the answer. Click and watch.

I Promise Not to Fuck Barry in the Arse

July 8, 2008

Really. I swear. Would the YouTubes lie?

By the way, it was douchey of me to walk out during your talk, Barry, and just as douchey to not laugh. I'm not giving you an excuse here, just a reason. I was nervous as fuck doing this knowing that David Deida was going on next, and my prepared speech of pickup bullshit was just fucking killing me looking at it, so I left the room to go clear everything out and go blank, so when I came back in and used that cheap stage trick of throwing away my script, I'd be ready to roll with no prep.

We'll get into it Monday, but I had a long time on the road where I was simultaneously selling "pickup" and starting to see that it was complete bullshit and geniunely damaging to women.

And men.

Be Happy,

Sean

P.S. You think I'm weird now, wait till we talk at 6:30 AM. I'll just start drinking at 6. Or keep drinking from the Sunday on. :)

P.P.S. If, for some reason you are reading this and are NOT Barry, be SURE to download the radio show next MONDAY, when Barry and I will be talking about... I dunno, ass-tickling, deadlifts, who can possibly beat up Hypnotica, and why Tyler acts like a cock-biter. Bookmark his show at http://revolution31.com/Blog.

Barry Kirkey is the Smartest Man Alive

Goddamn I love this guy. Listen to episode #38:

http://www.revolution31.com/Blog/

Sean & Hristiyan on YouTube

July 8, 2008

Hit our YouTube page at: http://www.youtube.com/user/seanmessenger, share them with your friends, and leave your comments!

And if there's anything you want to see on video, tell us at:

Drugs, Dogs and Sitting Still

July 7, 2008

I have ADHD. And Bipolar. And some dangerous control issues with drugs and alcohol.

These aren't failures, or things to be ashamed of. And they damn sure don't define me. They are just things I have, like some people have talent at playing guitar, and some people have diabetes, and some people have a giant cock.

I have none of those things. :)

But they are challenges. With the medication I take to stabilize my brain (which is far more useful than my old medication... Jim Beam), I alternate between sleeping HARD and then waking the fuck right up. When I take my Adderall, my brain kicks into overdrive and I have to do everything right now. It's great being so productive, but it makes it tough to stay on schedule cos the ideas don't stop. It's now 12:30 and I have yet to sit for my morning meditation (which is another thing that keeps me stable), and every second that goes by I'm losing time to spend training dogs today at the SPCA.

So I'm signing off. Check back later for some details about my new adventures in Chat coming this week.

Be Happy,

Sean

The Dufresne of Pain in the Rain

July 6, 2008

Something really bizarre happened tonight.

I was doing my nightly meditation and started working on a new technique for "The Next Level," called Dufresne in the Rain. If you haven't seen Shawshank, well, you suck and don't know what that means. Anyways, I was standing and doing my meditation thing when the heat lightning in the Miami sky turned into a thunderstorm, and at that moment my entire body started quaking.

Not shaking. Quaking. Like shit was gonna start falling off of me like bits of car falling off a rustbucket doing 80 on a potholed road at night. I felt this charge running through me, and it hurt. It was scary. But I just stood there, smiling and as still as I could be and let the storm rage.

Then the rain stopped. I sat back down, and the shaking stopped. I have no idea what happened. Maybe some muscle spasms. Maybe over-exertion from deadlifting 450 at the gym today. Maybe demons raging and scrapping before leaving me forever.

Who knows? But the storm has ended. It will be back... but it always ends.

The Next Level

July 6, 2008

Just got off the phone with Keegan and Hristiyan and we are STOKED for The Next Level retreat coming up at the end of September. We've already got a list of about 50 drills and ideas to do, and we're gonna get it up to 100 and then choose only the very best stuff. And we'll use them to KILL you. :)

We even have the spot picked out... it's a great camp at 5600' feet in the Cleveland National Forest outside San Diego. I can't wait, baby. Into the Wild, and we all come back out fucking ballsy men. The women of San Diego will be fainting like in an oldey-timey movie. Keep checking back for more info about it...

This is What I love About the 4th

July 5, 2008

Wow. WOW. Fireworks and Sigur Ros. If I had some shrooms and a pizza, and maybe a girl or two, we're talking dream date. :) Take a look... in Vimeo HD! Suck it, YouTube. You're not giving my fucking viewing habits to Viacom, cos I ain't viewing shit on your scrambled-ass site.

The Fourth from Michael Brodner (AIM: Upstate14) on Vimeo.

Blatant Ball-Washing

July 5, 2008

The Barry Kirkey Radio Show. I have no words for it. I have, however, a big comedy boner for it.

Holy fucking hell, now I feel like a total douche for thinking Barry was insane when I met him in Toronto (but I was nice enough to buy him a Red Bull... partially to see if the caffeine would make his head asplode)... cos his radio show kicks fucking ass.

It's a sign of how good it is that I LOVE when he rips me and my stupid overly melodramatic voice. Goddamned Connecticut upbringing. Why can't I just drawl in a drunken Southern accent? I need more drugs. :)

Check out his radio show. Fucking fuckity fuckballs awesome, and free. So he's really got me there.

http://www.revolution31.com/Blog/

Be Happy,

Sean

Puppy Dogs and Rock Bands (Video)

July 5, 2008

Want to look and feel sexy? Watch to get Sean's secret (other than the mullet :)

Get yours at Leather Rock Bands

Be Happy,

Sean

What's Wrong with Desire (the concept, not the U2 song, which is all kinds of awesome)

July 5, 2008

Desire - n. : to long or hope for

Longing, suffering, craving, pain. That is desire. When you desire ice cream, you can taste it before it even hits your tongue, and the fantasy becomes so strong you are actually disappointed in the reality. That's the nature of desire and craving. Nothing is ever enough.

You ever dated a girl who wanted to wait longer to have sex than you did? At some point you started to go crazy for her because of your Desire to get what you want. The fantasy built and built and built... and every single time, the reality is a letdown. And then afterwards, you notice that for some odd reason, you don't really want her as much any more.

That's Desire.

Now compare that with Appreciation, or Love. Appreciation means you do not need, or even want to, possess something to enjoy it. I appreciate the fuck out of Picasso's "Guernica," but I have no desire for it. It's beauty is something I can behold in picture, vision and memory, and take with me everywhere. The same is true of the loveliest girls I've dated. I do not desire to possess them anymore, but my appreciation for them grows every day.

It's like that phase after a breakup... that two weeks or so when you get back together just as friends, and it's nothing but sex and fun. Why? Cos you don't desire each other. You don't want to own each other. You just want to enjoy and appreciate each other, and that makes the reality of her kiss, her tongue on your skin and her scent in your nostrils suddenly sweeter than any fantasy could ever be.

That which you Need you cannot Love. That which you Love you do not Desire. That which you Crave you will never Have.

That which you Love you will always Love.

Now I've got to go train some dogs. Easier than training people, by an assload. :)

Be Happy,

Sean

Porn and The Marianas Trench

July 5, 2008

Warning. The water is about to get deep, quick.

When I was meditating at my Vipassana retreat, I had one afternoon where my mind was FLOODED with pornographic images. Memories stored all inside me. See, I've been watching porn very regularly since, well, since I first found one of my grandfather's Penthouse mags at age 5. Then there was the appearance of The Playboy Channel in my house. My dad ordered it when we got cable, and put a lock on it.

Note, not some digital code. I mean an actual LOCK. Like, a metal box that required a key. And let me tell you, when you put a 12-year-old boy in the middle of the woods with nothing to do and a bounty of porn blocked by only a simple lock, that boy turns into a world-class criminal in seconds. I had that thing picked so fast...

Then the video stores. Then the internet. And the internet. And the internet.

Basically, I'd estimate 1/2 of my visual memory was occupied by porn. That day in meditation, it was like it ALL came out to the surface. I mean a barrage of everything I've ever seen, and then that all got twisted into bizarre and sometimes violent and disturbing new stuff. But I stuck with it and let it flow. Equanimity. Observe. Rise and fall. Don't react. That's the heart of Vipassana meditation. It rose like floodwaters and at times felt it was going to sweep me away. But then...

It faded. And I mean faded for good. It all rose up and kinda washed out to see. Since I've been home, not only have I not had a single craving for porn (which is a very odd thing given that I'm also experimenting with celibacy for the first time ever), but I literally cannot hold a pornographic image in mind for more than a fraction of a second. Even if I try, they flicker and fade.

I tested it tonight while meditating, and it was like some weak radio signal coming in from thousands of miles away on a car radio at night, driving across the plains. It was just... gone.

I don't miss it at all. I have no judgements to levy on porn. Goodness knows that sexual stimuli got me through a lot of lonely nights, and probably fired up my imagination to pursue wisdom through women (right or wrong). But it also kept me prisoner to my imagination and separate from real people, real women, and real relationships.

I felt that tonight. It may be that there's no link at all, but I felt this weight in the center of my chest tonight. A weight on me that made it difficult to inhale fully. A weight that just seemed to settle in, put its feet up, and raid my fridge for beer and snacks. You can't fight it. You can only observe and let it be. So I did. It's here. It's not suffering, it's just... there.

Sometimes strange things come up when you go deep, whether it's meditation, hypnosis, or even relationships. I call it Marianas Trench. I use it as a verb. When I feel that some serious shit is about to come up, I get all macho and brave and tough-guy and say to myself, "ok, motherfucker, let's do it. Let's Marianas Trench this bitch. Let's get fucking DEEP."

Tonight I found that going to that depth puts you under some serious pressure.

It's there now, and tomorrow it may just fall. Arise, and fall. Who knows what memories are locked, not in our minds, but our bodies? Who really knows where we store the small and large damages from our past? Maybe they aren't just burned in pathways in our brains like fresh tracks on a powdery ski slope. They may just be in us, in muscle fibers, in blood, and in the oxygen that keeps us alive.

What weight do I still carry? What weight do you carry? At the PUA Summit in LA, I went on a strange tangent about how your past is like a corpse you drag behind you everywhere you go. A dead body that strains your back and keeps you tethered to the ground so every step is like wading in waist-deep riptide. What if you could cut that weight?

How light and free would you feel without your past chained to your heart? Would you see the world differently? Would you see women differently?

Would women see YOU differently?

I don't know. But I'm damn sure gonna keep finding out.

btw, whoever it was that told me to rent "The Diving Bell and The Butterfly, thank you. That movie is all kinds of awesome, especially since it's full of gorgeous European women. :)

Be Happy,

Sean

How do I get good at making friends as well as making out?

July 5, 2008

Sure, you can learn all about pickup and even get pretty good with chicks that way, but it's also a pretty sure way to drive friends out of your life and create a world where you are in competition with every other man.

And that is gonna leave you even lonelier than having no girls. You need to have real friends in your life, cos they are gonna be the ones who are there through the good AND the bad.

It's a great point. We've been talking about his, how getting good with girls means getting good with HUMANS. All of them. hell, today I went to the animal shelter just to go thru orientation and sign up to walk some dogs, and I ended up making friends with a guy there who brought me with him to the mall to do an adoption fair, and through that I met another couple of great guys who sell this amazing jewelry called "Rock Bands" that every celebrity in Hollywood wears, and hung with them for a few hours and planned a deal with them to work together... simply because we understood each other's energy and got a connection right away.

Of course, that also led to some heavy flirting with a couple of beautiful Florida blondes, but that's not the point. :)

To get good with humans, you have to open up, put yourself out there, connect on commonalities (especially things that elicit emotion)... and have something to GIVE.

Be Happy,

Sean

Vipassana Retreat - Field Report from the Crazy

July 1, 2008

It's been three days since I came home from my 11-day (10 days plus, don't trust their website! silent Vipassana retreat.

Like Jane's Addiction said, three days since I came aground.

I was convinced I'd come right home and start babbling about the experience and immediately turn into one of those cultists who does something and recruits everyone around them (god knows I went thru that phase after I tried the Landmark Forum... I am nothing if not a True Believer).

But to be honest, I had really underestimated the effect. See, after the retreat, I was all fired up. We finally got to talk to the people we'd been surrounded by, but isolated from, for the entire time, and it was like a real brother and sisterhood was built just from the shared experience. We have never spoken but we understood each other because we now understood something about ourselves.

I ended up driving home with one girl in my car and in convoy with another. Both wicked cute Latin girls from Miami who I had never met before, and I found myself crushing for real on one and talking non-stop to both of them the entire trip about everything... family, dating, relationships, sex, girl-girl action, you name it.

And my crushing felt different. They teach you in Vipassana that the root cause of all sadness, pain and misery is simply craving. You crave what you do not have, and then once you get it, you don't really want it. You crave freedom from those things you do not want, and once you get that freedom, you want to go back.

Sounds familiar, right? It's the arc of every single relationship and breakup every single dude I know has been through.

Dude sees girl. Dude desires girl. Girl triggers desires dude has had for other girls... real life, high school, magazines, porn. Dude runs his game to impress girl. Dude gets girl on date. Dude gets girl in bed. Dude battles and battles and battles to get those panties off and get girl's pussy juice all over his rock-hard cock, convinced this is what he really needs.

Dude comes. Dude rolls over and sleeps. Dude wakes up and instantly it's not the same. Sometimes dude still likes the girl, develops feelings, and makes her his girlfriend. Sometimes he even buys her a ring, or goes all in on a big party with friends and family and swears to be with only her till the day he dies.

Sometimes dude wants to escape right away.

But as soon as he gets out, he wants her back. He fights for his freedom, and then feels lost like Brooks Hadlin in Shawshank and just wants to go back home to prison where things make sense.

But either way, dude doesn't stop craving. He sees another girl and desires her. He sees a cool car and desires it. He sees a better job, a cooler city, a nicer house, and desires them all. And whatever he gets, the desire grows.

It's why financial experts will tell you that getting a raise at work does not lead to increased savings, because we all simply spend whatever we make.

We crave that which we do not have.

And we hate what we do not want.


I have always craved what I did not have. I date one girl and want another. I date two and want three. I date three and want one good one. I get one good one and want better. I get better and want committment. I get commitment and want freedom. I get freedom and want intimacy. I get intimacy and want to be alone. I get alone and want to die.

I hate being trapped so I run. I run and want to run more. I run more and feel lost. I feel lost and trap myself. I hate my actions so I stop acting. I hate stillness so I distract myself. I hate distractions so I get to work. I hate my work so I go to sleep.

And sleep is really the only release, isn't it? The sweet bliss of nothingness, where no ghosts can find you and no desires can drive you. You are open to the whims of the secret world and you follow no matter where they go.

But what if you could release that craving and see it for exactly what it is?

It is just a pulse. It arises and falls away. And even if it returns like a persistent toothache, it still follows the same pulse. Arise and fall away. Arise and fall away.


Arise.

Fall away.

That is the rhythm of our lives. Think about the last real physical pain you had. Was it a steady state? Or did it throb? Did it get better and then worse? Did it arise?

Did it fall?

Think of the last euphoric moment you felt. Maybe it was an orgasm. You feel you blood rise, you feel it fall. You pump harder and faster, you feel the build, and you finally feel the rise, and crest and break... and fall.

You feel the spasm after. The jolt of electricity, the release. The shiver.

Your body is always pulsing with your blood. You desires are always coming and going. But we train ourselves every moment to react to the coming so we totally miss the going.

When someone insults you, your first instinct is to strike back. But if you walk away, you find they fade really fast.

When you are hurting, you want to cover and protect. But if you turn your attention to something else, you find you can forget.

When you are in love, you get obsessed and want her every moment. But when another pretty girl walks by, you turn your head.


There is no joy, no peace, no happiness in craving. There is only more dissatisfaction. You can chase and catch all the women in the world, and you will always want more. You can be the best ever, and still be subject to tumbling from your peak as soon as you fail.

Every thing you've ever craved and everything you've ever hated is scorched into your body, and when you find something similar, you get the same reaction. And the only way out is to go into it.

Go into it, and DON'T react.

Everything changes, and everything is temporary. The worst night is always followed by morning. The worst torture will eventually end. In the true nature of time, everything is impermanent.

Live the best life you can, and you will still die. Do everything a man can do, and you still can't take it with you.

I spent 10 days, 10 hours per day, working on how to recognize this and retrain my body and my brain to respond in a new way. I trained to feel pain and pleasure the same, simply as phenomenon that come and go. I trained to let go of all the things I thought I needed so I could open myself up to simply loving.

I learned to stop trying to get all I could for myself so I could find a way to give.


And I know this isn't very detailed, but it's hard to pin down feelings in words. I came home high. I came home clean. I came home buzzed.

And then I woke up blank. I woke up strange. I woke up hard.

They tell you when you go in this is like surgery. You are cutting out a big part of yourself. You are digging with knife and laser and forceps and excavating great big chunks of ego, the ego that told you all along who you are, that protected you from pains real and percieved, and shaped you based on what you reacted to in the past instead of letting you see and feel the present for the brand-new moment that it always is.

So what was it really like?

It's an assfucker, man. It's harder than anything. The last two days since i got home i couldn't even leave the house.

But i feel it got a lot of the old damage all the way out of me and now it's like i have to, or get to, start over. It's like i CAN'T go back and remember the stuff that was haunting me before, even the hard stuff like the breakup and gia dying. It's there, somewhere, but faded.

And it's like that line in swingers... you miss the pain, cos you lived with it for so long.

Killing the part of your identity you clung to the most because it kept everything else hidden... they say ego death is the hardest.

I underestimated the effect. I put myself on the line, and did it knowing that my additional challenges of having Bipolar and ADHD would only make things riskier. I did it not understanding it would make me see my world as I've made it, and see it like a stranger.

I see the distances I created and the barriers I put up and now they are intolerable to me. The very things that I built to keep me safe now look as they are... the things that will keep me dying slowly every day unless I make a change.

Vipassana shows you how to change yourself with real work every day into a person who gives Love freely, with no expectation of reward. It does let you see and feel what it's like to be at peace and be free of fear.

But it's only a start, and it takes every day to make it happen. I am done bouncing from answer to answer. Right or wrong, this is the path I will take and see where it goes. I mean, fuck, the Buddha became the Buddha for a reason. It wasn't like an accident. We are, indeed, waves and particles. We are nothing permanent. We are in the flow already, and all we need to do is train ourselves to feel that every moment of every day.



I cannot tell you what to do. But I can tell you that if you have the courage to see what life really is, and the strength to kill yourself in order to find yourself, this hard road is the only way to go.


And now that you know that me AND Rivers Cuomo, and John Frusciante have done it, well, that's a holy trinity of cool right there.


Be Happy,

Sean


P.S. Thanks to my bro Daniel Johnson from PU101 for cementing my decision to do this. Like he said, it's the world's only 2500-year-old workshop with proven results.


P.P.S. And now I've got to go meditate. Every day, baby. Two hours a day. This ain't no joke.

__________________


Be Happy,

Sean

"Dost thou not suspect my place? dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass." - Much Ado About Nothing, Billy Shakes